Butterflies

8 years ago I was about to walk down the aisle. No kids. No plans. No worries. No thought of ANYthing except that I got to go see my man out past the rancho, right where I had fallen in love with him some 5 years before, surrounded by most of our family and friends. To declare our commitment and faith and love. To walk into the future, hand in hand. Through thick and thin. Rainbows and rain. Mud and clear waters.

It’s a more complex love now. It evolves. It’s sitting in the emergency room with your son, sharing stories that run thicker than blood via eye contact. Leaning on him because you trust him. Him trusting me to make the best choices at home while he’s not there. Me trusting him to be with my first son in the hospital while I can’t be there. To make the best choices and give my love and support when I can’t be there physically.

It’s trusting in each other when everything isn’t all perfect and simple and planned out.

It actually blows my mind that it’s only been 8 years. So many places. So many people. So many experiences. So many Kids! So many ups and downs.

When I read the following quote yesterday, I thought of Spencer and what he does for me. He is my healer. My teacher. My love.

A true healer does not heal you; she simply reflects back to you your innate capacity to heal. She is a reflector, or a loving transparency. A true teacher does not teach you; she does not see you as inherently separate from her. She simply reflects back your own inner knowing, and reminds you of the vastness of your being. She is a mirror, a signpost. And love is the space in which all of this is possible; love heals, and we learn best in a loving field, no threat of failure, no punishment.

— Jeff Foster