The Birth of Deia Soleil 10-1-11

I was sure that there was a brown haired baby inside of me. I was pretty sure that there was a girl inside of me, but never wanted to get too attached to that idea. I was sure that that this baby was going to be born on September 23rd, the first day of Fall. Well, two of those three things were right! And on September 23rd when the clock struck about 9 PM and I felt completely normal, I came to terms with the idea that this baby wasn’t coming on the first day of Fall. This baby might not come for another 3 weeks, in fact! I’ve seen so many women “wait” for their baby’s debut and how different women handle that waiting. I’m glad I got to experience it! I think it helped to tell myself that baby was not coming until my 42nd week, so that I could just really enjoy the present moment and make the most of each day with Spencer and Gavin. I will always look back at those last couple of weeks with a smile. I held and cuddled Gavin so much which I am already grateful for.

On September 29th I took an afternoon walk and I felt a major shift in my body. I couldn’t walk as fast. My hips felt really loose. My pelvic region felt loose and almost achy. I only walked for half of the time than I normally walked for. There was a total lack of energy. I came home and told Spencer that my body was a changin! That night I was having some very mild period like cramps. I didn’t sleep very much that night and kept dreaming that I was in labor.

I woke up at 3 AM on the 30th of September. That wasn’t unusual though…I had been waking up that early for months. I went about my normal morning routine of drinking tea, doing a spinal warm-up, meditating, and then writing in my journal. I found it very hard to focus though and around 4:30 AM, these period like cramps became a little more regular. They weren’t bothering me, so I still didn’t think that this could really be the beginning of labor. I wrote in the baby’s journal that Spencer and I been keeping since I became pregnant, and wrote “Come, baby, come! We are ready and waiting!”

Funny enough, I had downloaded an App for my iphone that times contractions. So I started using it around 6 AM just to see if there was consistency and how far apart these light contractions were. By 8 AM, I left the denial at the door and came to terms with the idea of being in labor! Today was the day! I became excited that my dad had picked the 30th!….. a little boy with the middle name Mike or a little girl with the middle name Mikayla! Or so I thought.

I called Marie to tell her the news! At this point though I was still a little hesitant, and knew that this could just be the beginning of a couple days of light contractions. But because this was my second birth and because my first birth progressed rather quickly, Marie and I thought it was a good idea to be prepared for a speedy arrival. Marie and Rebecca were on their way over!

Spencer and I were walking on the moon!! We told Gavin that the baby was getting ready to come. We had been talking to him about it for the last month, prepping him for the big day in case he was around. The energy in the house was calm, yet filled with so much love and excitement. It was almost as if Gavin shifted into his new big brother role that moment. Spencer kept talking to him about things, and said that it was as if Gavin aged a year in a day.

I began making soup….. I wanted something that I could eat in labor, but then also something for afterwards. And I wanted lots of greens in it so I would load up on Vitamin K since we were not going to be giving the Vitamin K drops in the eyes. I enjoyed cutting the vegetables and standing there through each contraction. Which at this point (around 8-9 AM) they were about 3-4 minutes apart, lasting about 45 seconds. I had soup on the stove and then started making cookies. Spencer went down to the store and got some snacks to have at the house, complete with a Snickers bar….more so as a joke.

By 10:30 AM Marie and Rebecca were both at the house. I took a walk and saw everything so clearly on that path. All the trees became so green and the flowers so bright. The water in the river was roaring. It was a very special walk where I talked to the baby and my body. A reminder for all of us to work together, surrender and trust!

We put music on in the house and enjoyed each other’s company. I loved having that time with Marie and Rebecca, and they were telling some very funny stories! My contractions started to become a little more intense, but nothing crazy. I was still able to laugh and chat and sit still. Around noon we decided to see how dilated I was so we could kinda come up with a game plan. I was only 2 cm dilated, so decided that I should go take a nap, Marie would go run a couple errands and Rebecca would go to the house next door where there was another pregnant woman that she could visit with.

Speaking of that lovely pregnant woman, I will always be so grateful for her (Andrea) and Felipe. They brought me a fresh pressed vegetable juice that morning. And then at lunch time they brought over a delicious rice and veggie salad. What a TREAT!

I took a nap with Gavin until about 3. I was able to sleep very deeply and soundly. But I awoke to a contraction that got me out of bed with a “YIKES!”

Right as I went out into the living room, Rebecca came back over to the house. We hung out for awhile, chatting and telling stories. The contractions were definitely more intense, but still not taking my breath away or anything….

Rebecca checked me out around 5 to see if things had progressed at all. I think I was about the same as earlier, so she and Marie asked if I wanted to take some black cohosh. Sure! Please! Let’s get this party started! Within about 10 minutes of taking the homeopathic remedy GAME ON!! My contraction immediately picked up and became more intense.

It became dark outside, and we got candles lit all over the house. A playlist of music that I had made was in the background, and the mood was relaxing and peaceful. By 7 or 8 that night, I was in full on labor. The contractions now were being felt from my lower back, around my hips and into my pelvic area. I was unable to sit down, and just wanted to keep walking around and moving my hips in circles during contractions.

By 10 PM I couldn’t talk during a contraction. I had to close my eyes and go within. I began making deep noises from my gut upon exhaling. My breath definitely helped me through the last couple hours. Deep inhaling (imaging energy going down to my baby, and then on the exhale I would send the energy to my uterus and cervix to open things up. The visuals really helped to, because it gave me a healthy perspective to not think of the contractions as painful. I tried to remain focused on surrendering and letting my body do what it knew how to do instead of fighting the feelings. I started having low blood sugar and feeling weak, and is all I wanted was that Snicker’s bar! So I alternated between bites of the Snickers and sips of coconut water.

Gavin woke up and asked Spencer what the noises were:). Spencer told him I was singing to the baby to encourage him or her to come out.

From around 10- 11:30 I experienced what some people call transition. This part definitely rocked my world! The contractions were long, strong, intense and I was not getting a break! They would ease up for a few seconds but then come on in full force. A few times I looked up at Marie, Rebecca or Spencer and said, “This is crazy! I need a break!” A few times I actually got more than 10 seconds and those little rests saved me.

At around 11 I entered into the birthing pool. I didn’t want to change positions, but I’m so glad I listened to Marie and Rebecca. Once I was in the water I did feel better and more relaxed. Rebecca poured warm water over my back which felt soooo wonderful. I was on my knees, propping myself up on the edge of the pool, resting my head on my arms at times. I was holding Spencer’s hands. Well, squeezing all life out of them!

I felt a lot more connected to Spencer during this birth. It was nice having his hands to hold, as opposed to resting on him like I did during Gavin’s birth. He kept whispering things to me…reminders that I had written on a piece of birth art I made. Like, “150,000 other women are going through this right now, too”  or “breathe”, “talk to your baby”, “keep your jaw relaxed and open”. All these little reminders helped me to stay in the moment. I did keep talking to the baby, too.

Now, I will share this because I share it with humor and hope that if you are reading this, you know me. And that you can laugh at this. But by 11:15 I totally went down a road in my head, that I knew I didn’t REALLY want. But I went there. It went like this: “I wish I were at a hospital right now and that I could get drugs!!” and then I was even having bad thoughts about Spencer, Marie and Rebecca….being jealous that they are felt so good and weren’t experiencing any pain and that they were just watching me.  This is when I wanted to use bad language and yell at everyone. I knew that my thoughts were getting crazy, and that I REALLY didn’t want to be in a hospital, and I didn’t want drugs and that I wanted to feel the birth of my baby, but it was just interesting to observe the mind.

A couple of times throughout those last couple of hours, Marie or Rebecca used the doppler to check the baby’s heart rate, which was always where it should be.

At 11:30 my water broke. It felt SO incredible. It was a huge release and so much less pressure. I felt SO much better. And I got a break!!! Within 10 minutes though, I started feeling the most incredible thing. I could feel the baby moving down the birth canal. The pressure increased, but it was pretty amazing to have that sensation and to know that I was so close. That gave me the burst of energy and excitement that I needed.

I knew that the time was coming when the baby would be crowning and I would most likely get those urges to push. I said a little prayer and reminded myself that this was the ultimate practice of surrendering and trust. Sure enough I wanted to start pushing. But instead I was concentrating on breathing the love and energy down and keeping things relaxed as possible. It was almost as if I was fighting the urge to push- and in doing so, my body took over instead of my mind. It wasn’t ME pushing. It was my body’s muscles naturally squeezing and urging the baby out. It was incredible to try to go a long with that, instead of taking control.

Once I could feel the baby’s head crowning, in just two contractions the head was out. Then her shoulders and the rest of the body slid on out into the water. Right before the shoulders were out, I let go of Spencer’s hands and he was able to go back to where Marie was behind me and help her receive the baby under the water and bring the baby up out of the surface for her first breath.

Oooooh that feeling!! There’s probably nothing like it in the world. To go from this amazing pressure and intensity to all of a sudden complete relief and pleasure and joy- in an INSTANT!

Spencer said, “Well, I don’t feel a penis!”

I began crying tears of joy that we did it. And she seemed healthy and was breathing. And she was born just moments after midnight, on October 1st. Our favorite restaurant in Nosara is La Dolce Vita. The owner, Roberto has guessed “early hours on October 1st, a brown haired girl. And if I’m right, the baby’s name will be Kiara Soleil!” he said. So we went with Soleil as a middle name which we love.

I got to lean back and relax in the water with our brown haired little girl, Deia Soleil on my chest. I kept saying, “We did it, you guys!” and just couldn’t stop smiling.

After several minutes Deia and I got out of the water and got bundled up in towels.

I loaded up on more coconut water and Snickers. We all still laugh about how of all things, and of all people, I was eating a Snickers bar in labor. It was great, though!:)

Within about 30 minutes, Deia and I went back to the bedroom and got into bed. Gavin rolled over and looked up. He saw the baby and said, “Is that the baby?” I told him that he was a big brother and this was his sister Deia. He smiled so big and then said, “Now you can hold me, Mama?” It melted my heart.

The four of us were complete. Spencer is a winter baby, Gavin was born in spring, I was born in summer and Deia is a fall baby. Our little Libra girl brings us balance, grace and compassion.